My biggest fear is not that I’m inadequate, it’s that my body will give out before I get to teach Addy the joys of sports and the great outdoors.  The saying, “Time waits for no man” could not be more perfect for my pre-Addy thoughts.

My dad wasn’t the old “hey son, lets go play catch” type of fellow.  When he was around, he let it be known that sports were in no way shape or form his thing.  He once told me his story of playing football, which consisted of a few practices, then a game in which he had what he thought to be a “break away touchdown” then was suddenly hit viciously out of nowhere.  That hit was followed by him not even returning to the Jeff Davis sideline, but heading straight to the lockerroom while throwing off pads and football equipment on the way.  As a two sport athlete in my hay day, some would think I’d say my dad “punked out” in football, but he made up for it by doing something that I would never do…..join the Marines and do not one, but two voluntary tours in ‘Nam.

Considering my love of sports, I just want to be able to stand up long enough without knee or back pains to maybe chase Addy through the park or teach her how to shoot a basketball, properly, which is not how I do it….LOL.  As of right now, I do get slight lower back pains when I walk around the house with Addy trying to get her to calm down and go to sleep, which is why I’ve been thinking about it.  Sometimes I think Drake was right, “I’m really too young to be feeling this old” but then again back when I was in school, it was “no pain, no gain” so I can probably attribute most of my joint pains to playing injured and not letting things heal properly.  I know for a fact that I hurt my neck in high school and it’s never been right every since……but enough about me whining.

I’ll fight through the slight pain, as long as it’s not too horrible for me to show Addy “how daddy used to do it”….is that too much to ask?  I think not.

Another big fear that has popped up due to my lovely daughter is death.  Tupac said “…only fear of death is reincarnation…” which I’m not too much worried about because I’ll probably come back as a girl.  Sometimes the thought of only having 20 or so years in Addy’s life just doesn’t seem like enough.  Now before you guys jump to conclusions on how I came up with that number, I’m simply basing it off my parent’s ages when they passed away.  My dad was 53 was he died in 2006 and my mom was a few weeks away from 60 when she passed in 2008.  Granted I’m really thinking I’ll out live the both of them, it doesn’t subdue the fear.

So either way, I’m saying that having Addy has brought up new fears, which aren’t so much related to raising a good child, but more on a fear of the unknown future.  I’m sure as long as I’m here, Addy will have a good daddy <—- who can easily rhyme words!

Thanks for tuning in…….

BROWNLEE

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