i finally figured out that i go back to work April 25.  i knew the day was eventually coming but i never looked at a calendar or contacted anyone or looked at the disability forms.  it wasn’t so much denial as it was not caring.but last night my boss emailed me to check in and see how everything was going and let me know that the Leave Administration folks emailed him. so i called to check and my 6 weeks was up Friday and now i’m on my two weeks vacation.  technically i could take 6 more weeks of FMLA as “bonding time” but you don’t get paid and that would basically be FML time.

i knew eventually i would have to go to work and i am looking forward to having the routine restored in my life but i am worried about the working mother part trying to balance being an adult and being a mommy. so i plan to get some pics done of Addy soon to take back to my cube with me.  i still have the fancy ones from the hospital but they almost don’t count now since she’s totally a different person and even has signs of a personality now.

we’ve been practicing smiling with her and from time to time we will get a smile back.  brownlee used his smiling practice time to teach addison how to stick her tongue out at him.  it worked.

so i figured now would be a good time to get addy a “put down routine” since i’m not sure if we will really be able to keep up our shifts when i go back to work.  right now i’m going to sleep between 1 and 3 am and waking up between 9 and 11.

last night i picked addy up at 8.  took her in the room.  turned off the light, turned on the stars and Sleep Sheep (“ocean” setting) and started to rock her.  her eyes got droopy about 810 and i’m all “oh this is easy peasy”.  then i quit rocking her and they shot back open.  ok fine i won’t stop rocking.  but then i heard brownlee and t in the living room cracking up and thought “maybe i should have brought my phone or Kindle in here.”  but i pushed through and she got drowsy again about 825.  the only problem is that i too was getting drowsy.  that Sleep Sheep is too good.

then about 840 she was still wide awake looking at the constellations on the ceiling and i was totally understimulated, so i gave up and came back in the living room.  i didn’t even attempt it tonight because she was napping at 7pm.

honestly 6 weeks is probably still too early to form a routine and we probably won’t have any success until about 3 months.  that’s what i’ve heard anyway.  we’ll just have to deal with the sleep deprivation, but that’s what we signed up for. but sooner or later we will have to work something out.  i never had a bedtime growing up so i’m going to demand that addy have one.  a whole brush your teeth, 30 minutes of reading, lights out go to bed, type routine.  but for now we’ll just deal with it and i’m kind of a quitter so the one day i tried and failed was enough to be over that whole idea.  meh.

in other news i’m pleased to report that i hit up the Gap saturday and bought a new pair of jeans.  they were on sale for $42.99 and were my regular size.  then they rang up for $29.99!!!!!!!! but then i felt bad for not getting addy something from Gap kids and i stopped at Carter’s on the way home and got her a new romper and a bonnet.

also in an effort to never have to make a midnight run to the store, and to save money wherever possible, i’ve become some what of a hoarder on diapers and formula.  they sell this special baby water that you’re supposed to mix formula with, but i just learned on The Bump that you can boil water, then chill it or even use water from the Brita filter. duh. that’s all distilled water is isn’t it?!  i’ve also learned that target lets you double up on coupons.  so i had a $6 coupon for Gerber Goodstart and a rebate check for $10.95. so i paid $5 and some change for a $21 can of Goodstart.  so if anyone sees any Target coupons for Goodstart, please to be sending them my way.